To really understand the life, emotions, and thoughts of a gay man I think you probably have to be another gay man. We all have our story, and they each have their similarities, and their uniqueness. When I first meet another gay man, we inevitably share our story. It’s almost a ritualistic part of getting to know one another...when we first realized we were gay, early experiences, how friends and family responded, which friends and family decided they no longer wanted anything to do with us, and those that committed to continue loving us as if nothing had changed. I’ve lost count of how many stories I’ve exchanged, and even though I couldn’t recall each of them I’m certain they’ve each influenced me in some way.
I think that the importance of this “ritual” stems from all the years of secret keeping most of us have gone through. It’s not easy living a lie, sneaking around, being two different people...and it’s liberating to have opportunities to be completely open. Before coming out, hearing stories about others experience provides some speculation as to how your own friends and family may respond. After coming out, your own story might do the same thing, and continuing to hear new stories can provide some perspective as well as contrast to ones own experience. Whatever the reasons, and I’m sure they are countless, it’s an important “right of passage” in terms of self discovery, and relationship building in the gay community.
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